Category Archives: Thoughts

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)

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It was a very rainy, beautiful start to Labor Day today, so when I woke up, I was immediately reminded of this song that I heard in the background while at church yesterday. Oceans, and the rest of the Zion CD, was released by Hillsong United earlier in the year (on my birthday!), and it’s one of the more well-known songs on this CD, but I hadn’t really taken the time to listen to the words and engage with it in worship. From the very first words, to the bridge of the song, I felt it as a true prayer of my heart. Talking about the worldwide response to the song, the band members express how this song applies to us all, no matter where we are in life, whether it be questioning who God is, or walking with God for years. It’s all the same basic situation: we come to places in life where we have to step out in faith, “the great unknown”, because God always wants to take us deeper in Him and do crazy things in this world with our lives.

You called me out upon the waters
The great unknown, where feet may fail..

..Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now..

..Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Saviour…

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The Art of Describing Yourself

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In the midst of med school apps a couple weeks ago, I ran across these essays in the NY Times last week. They were a part of this main article that discussed a “new” type of college essays that are emerging, ones where the writers take huge risks in relation to what one usually thinks of concerning typical admissions essays. It got me thinking about my own applications, since the all important personal statement is a large part of the process. Reading the four essays, they were certainly different from what I’d seen before. Sometimes I found myself going, “What are they even talking about?” while reading the essays. But in the end, the essays were fantastic, and they ultimately painted a unique picture of each applicant’s personality and style.

A few days ago, I was reading and came across an artist named Leonid Afremov mentioned in the book. I (naturally) looked him up because the book mentioned his paintings of Paris vignettes; it turns out he’s a Russian-Israeli modern impressionist. He likes to paint things that allow the viewer to see the subject through his point of view. His style reminded me of neo-Impressionism (aka, Pointillism, which is my favorite art period) a bit, so I was instantly drawn to his works. The reason I was so drawn to his paintings isn’t just because they are so colorful. Mainly, I love that the colors, though not necessarily blended, come together to paint a complex picture of Paris: the light radiating off of the Eiffel Tower at night or off of Notre Dame in the afternoon, or reflecting in the cafe windows in early morning aren’t just a spectacular yellow-orange color. The light also returns to the eye as blues, greens, and reds as it works to highlight the rest of the surrounding scenery in each painting – the deep blue skies, the well-manicured trees, the autumn leaves and blaring shop signs.

And I was drawn to his paintings because this is exactly how I want to come across while writing all those answers in the med school secondaries I’m now doing: I want to paint a picture of myself, with specific descriptions and attributes, yet I want all of those values to come together and make a beautiful picture, subtly reflecting and highlighting other areas of my life in the undertones.

Guess I better get to work.

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*All photos attributed to leonidafremov.deviantart.com and redbubble.com

Joy

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This past weekend has been an absolute joy for me to experience in so many ways. On Saturday, two of my suitemates and I ran a 5K. It was our first official 5K (I don’t really think the Color Run 5K counts since it’s not competitive in the slightest), and something we were so glad we could do together as senior year comes to a close. It was difficult for me, no lie, since I run… never. I went out running the day before to prepare myself, which turned out to be a good idea, seeing as I didn’t feel like completely collapsing when I was done.

In fact, afterward, I. felt. amazing. We all did! The feeling of accomplishment, of pride, of unity, gotten from completing this simple event was palpable as we eventually made our way back to our room. I think I finally understand how running can give you that on-top-of-the-world feeling. I felt it all day long. (I’ve decided to embark on the Couch-to-5K plan to really begin my running regimen, too.)

In the evening, one of my suitemates and I went to Local Foods, this fantastic restaurant with fresh, organic, creatively-made food. The highlight of that meal? Not only did I enjoy conversation with my roomie, but when I went back up to the cash register to buy a cupcake after my dinner (the woman at the register was so happy that I was back to get dessert, that she yelled YAY really loudly), I handed my card over to pay and the guy looked at me and said, “It’s on the house.”

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MCAT

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About four or so days ago, I took the MCAT. I can’t express how HUGE it is for me: it seems that a weight was directly lifted off of my mind. Taking the exam really gets the ball rolling with my applications to medical school coming up soon… it’s all so much more real! I haven’t been able to stop smiling since it’s been over (seriously though, I’ll be sitting at my computer working and a smile will randomly creep up on my face; It feels great to be done). And I realize that many people despair afterwards, or try to forget it, or think about the next available time to retake it, but for me? None of that. All I’ve experienced is an immense sense of peace and relaxation. It’s truly a beautiful and joyful blessing for me to have had such a wonderful experience after completing the MCAT.

I really think that the already-large amount of warm fuzzies in my heart were greatly compounded by my family and the many, many friends who came up to me afterwards, asked how the exam went, hugged me, prayed for me, wished me well, brought me celebratory meals and snacks, wrote me notes, and overall rejoiced with me as I closed that chapter of my life. One friend said, “You’ve just made a huge step in becoming a doctor by completing the MCAT!” I hadn’t thought of it that way before; sure, the MCAT is important, but I didn’t think of it as a major achievement to cross off my application to-do list.

But now, I see it for exactly what it was. A true accomplishment. And I’m just incredibly blessed to have shared that experience with the many wonderful, amazing people God has placed in my life.

Head vs. Heart

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There’s a phrase that many people use when they are extremely happy. They say, “That person is high on life!” In the past couple of months, I’ve experienced that feeling. The exceedingly joyous one, where I can’t keep a smile off my face as I think of the great things God’s allowed me to experience these past few months. The first time was after 100 Days (an event my university holds to commemorate 100 days to graduation for the seniors), and the second time was this past weekend, getting to experience Soul Night for the first time, and as a performer. I’ve always heard and talked jokingly about being extremely content with how situations turn out in life, yet it sure was different – and so much more fulfilling – to actually encounter those emotions in a concentrated and impacting way after the events took place in my life.

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