Identity

This morning, I read a blog post written by an undergrad who’d been accused of plagiarism by her professor. She wrote on the obstacles she faces as a first-generation college student and U.S. citizen, and how superiors in her field of academia don’t expect her to be capable of achieving above and beyond the many accomplishments she’d already worked incredibly hard for. They assume she isn’t smart enough to grasp complex ideas, or to write scholarly and engagingly enough for her class assignments. This is, of course, a systemic problem with deep roots. But what struck me the most about her post was the fact that she felt “invalidated.”

How many of us have ever doubted “ourselves, our abilities, and our aspirations” based on other people’s opinions, as she did? I would guess that the number would include all of us. It is so ridiculously easy to let other voices infiltrate our emotions and influence our thought processes. We hear opinions from all sides, all the time: from friends, co-workers, employers, family, peers, society, media, and perhaps from what could be worst of all – ourselves. We allow the resulting doubt to fester in our minds until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We wonder, Wait… can I really do that? Am I really that capable? Do I really have that talent? Is this really what I’m supposed to do? Continue reading

Love v. Knowledge

“Beware you be not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.”

I read this quote by John Wesley a few days ago, and admittedly, the first thing I thought was: Hm, so in that case, love is 16 times the worth of knowledge. (I chuckled to myself then… I have no shame in my love for science-y jokes). But aside from its technicalities, it struck me deeper than that as I thought a bit more on showing love versus showing knowledge. It’s interesting to me how Wesley equates a ton of knowledge with being “swallowed up” — is he saying that growing in knowledge suffocates us? Now, clearly he’s not speaking on necessary academic knowledge or common sense needed to succeed at daily ambitions. I really get the sense that he means the type of knowledge that leads to unsavory pride.

Have you ever met a person who has to be right above everything? No matter what, the person will not accept that sometimes, the most important thing is to lovingly listen, rather than to be right. For a lot of situations in life, people will not be swayed by knowledge. It’s love that really turns the tide. In Proverbs 13:10, it says, “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” Okay, let’s be honest here. It is incredibly difficult to take advice – the unsolicited kind. But friends, I have to say that even my stubbornness quickly fades when I’m offered advice that comes from a place of love, rather than a place of prideful knowledge. It’s here where I realize that this quote works both ways: if I try to relate with someone on a know-it-all level, like Proverbs says, it’ll cause strife. And in the same way, if I retort with an I’ve-got-all-the-necessary-knowledge-I-need-to-know-on-this-topic kind of attitude (with a side of some rolled eyes, for effect) to family or friends who’ve been building me up in love, it’d be safe to say that those conversations may not end on the best note. I think of times when I’ve felt that I had to be right in certain situations, and truthfully, is IS a feeling of being swallowed up! It’s so easy to get sucked into a vicious cycle of proving that you’re right no matter what the other person responds with. These are the times when “an ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.”

When just a little bit of gracious love will calm quarrels.

When just a smidgen of love will help engage family and friends in meaningful conversations rather than push them away.

When just a helping of love will expose sincerity and tear down barriers dividing two sides.

Love versus knowledge. Which is greater? Which is better?

And yet I will show you the most excellent way. (1 Corinthians 12:31b)

Hollow

With finals looming for friends everywhere, this comes to mind: it’s so easy to feel hollow and ran dry by the gaggle of information to study, sleepless (and foodless) nights, and general pressure of exams. But, the best thing is that when we are completely weak, the Lord is stronger and is pouring strength into us so we never have to feel mentally or emotionally empty (though being mentally tired from studying is a different story!). I can confidently look to Jesus for help, and in return He says, My grace is sufficient for you, Layo, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.

How powerful is that?

When my days are filled with extremely early mornings and extremely late nights (and 2 AM wake-ups for even more studying…) – when I throw my hands up in exhaustion and say, “Jesus, take my wheel! And my car keys. And my car. And my credit card for gas. And please, just drive!” – I know that no matter how things go, everything will be more than alright. “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me… For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10)

So hold me / Wrap me in love, fill up my cup / Only your love can fill up my cup

Best Thing I Ever Learned From…

For awhile I’ve wanted to start this new series on best things I’ve learned from people, places, and things. Some of the anecdotes may be funny, some may be serious, but I’m excited to reflect on people, places, and things I’ve encountered that have impacted me in any positive way.

Since it’s been raining literally non-stop for almost two weeks here, I thought I’d start this series off with a bright, light-hearted one: best thing I ever learned from… the sun.

Because sunshine, I miss you, dearly.

Fall anywhere in Europe is basically a recipe for gray skies, some wind, and no sun. It makes me feel painfully, vitamin-D deficient and pale (and if you know me, you know I’m not exactly pale…). But every time fall comes around, I kind of have to laugh at myself. Because just a few months earlier, in the dry, scathing heat of the Texas summer, I find myself holed up in the corner of my house, basking in the ice-cold air conditioning, far away from the burning, could-cook-an-egg-on-the-sidewalk heat. Smack dab in the middle of summer, whenever I have errands to run and have to be outside for any prolonged period of time, I find myself internally groaning and wishing for cooler temperatures, knowing most of my strength will be sapped by the summer sun, leaving me with energy only to splay on my couch watching re-runs of Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta.

Dare I say struggle bus? Continue reading