L’avenir: it’s one of the French words that means “in the future,” not as in the future tense of a verb, but rather in terms of past, present, and the future. It doesn’t necessarily describe a specific amount of time in the future, or exactly when it will be, but it describes the future in a way that seems far removed from where one resides figuratively at the present moment. L’avenir represents a time in days or years yet to come, when one will be in a certain place, doing a certain thing. “I will be in medical school, à l’avenir. I will hopefully work in international medicine, à l’avenir.” It’s a state of mind, a state of being in your life that so quickly comes and goes, just as easily as the present turns into the past, like a passing breath in cold, winter air. That’s the sort of sense that this word evokes for me, at least whenever I use it. I used it a lot while in Paris, and it means so much now more than ever, as I look forward to future plans and life beyond Rice. 

This is the sort of topic that constantly runs through my head in this time of my life: my senior year in college. My suite mates, friends, and acquaintances constantly speak of the many grad school, professional school, and job applications that are “due in two weeks” or “by the beginning of November!” It induces almost a sense of panic in my heart at first — what will I be doing during my gap year between graduating and going to medical school? I don’t know. Only God knows. Literally. Ideally, I’d love to travel in this one year, experiencing medicine or cancer research in an environment entirely different from what I’ve already known. But for those who know me and my penchant for planning things (I am undeniably a list-maker), it’s difficult to break away from knowing and planning every day of the coming months, and instead just trust that God’s got an amazing plan for me in my post-grad times that will blow me away. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’ll sit back and slack off on going for what I need to do. But, it’s the uncertainty of where I should direct my efforts that fazes me: how do I set my current ideas efficiently in motion and plan now for a state of being — l’avenir — that I’m unsure of where it will be or what it will entail?

From conversations with various people, they essentially say to me, “France! Your French-speaking skills! It makes sense. Just travel.” But in the back of my mind, what I’d really love to do is go to Nigeria — thank you, Mom, for that awesome idea! Maybe work in a cancer research lab as I did this summer. Learn my cultural language, Yoruba; learn about the country that I hold so dear to my heart in every way through my family. (Side note: Aside from Nigeria, I’d love to go to Israel (Jerusalem, anyone?) and Syria (specifically Damascus) for an extended period of time. There’s an intense sense of history concerning Biblical times in both places that I feel would give me such a deeper understanding of God’s Word in terms of the culture of that time that I simply can’t resist…and both places hold a mysterious beauty in my mind, one that can’t be found elsewhere.) A year in Nigeria with family would be perfect. That’s the thing though, it’s only a year, and if my past high-school years, and soon-to-be-past college years are any indication, years fly by so quickly. I guess that’s why the future is so important to me right now and why I believe that whatever I do in my in-between year will be yet another formative time for me …each future moment that becomes a part of my present molds me, and I want that molding to continue to be a meaningful one to who I am. However, sometimes the last-minute, spontaneous things are the best ones. We shall see.

I’m trusting God to lead me this semester toward the right thing. I’m excited to see what my l’avenir holds. And it’ll be magnificent, no doubt at all.

P.S. I will still try to update more often… school’s pretty busy this last go-around.